Kindness used to be dangerous, especially in the 1960s when being kind in public meant risking arrest, assault, or death, because kindness during the Civil Rights era was not passive behavior but a deliberate strategy designed to expose injustice by refusing to mirror violence. Historical research later confirmed that nonviolent movements were significantly more successful than violent ones, largely because kindness under pressure revealed brutality in a way that could not be ignored, forcing the public to confront the moral failure of the system rather than the behavior of the oppressed.
As the legal victories of the movement settled in during the 1970s and 1980s, trust in institutions began to erode, particularly in urban communities that experienced disinvestment, rising crime, and aggressive policing, which caused kindness to retreat inward and become something shared only within close circles rather than extended outward to strangers. Sociological surveys from that period show a steady decline in social trust, reinforcing the idea that kindness outside familiar boundaries had become risky rather than empowering.
By the 1990s, kindness had developed a reputation as weakness, reinforced by pop culture narratives that celebrated dominance, survival, and hustle over empathy, while economic data showed widening income inequality and skyrocketing incarceration rates that punished vulnerability and rewarded aggression. During this same decade, corporations recognized that kindness could be packaged and sold, transforming genuine care into scripted customer service, emotional labor, and performative smiles that benefited systems far more than people.
The rise of social media in the 2000s amplified this shift by allowing kindness to become visible without being costly, as people could express support online without taking action offline, creating a culture where empathy appeared abundant even as measurable empathy declined. Studies found that while supportive language increased, overall empathy levels dropped significantly, revealing that kindness had become something that could be displayed rather than practiced.
In the 2010s, kindness took on a more controlling function as workplaces, schools, and institutions demanded positivity while ignoring harm, using civility and kindness language to suppress complaints, silence victims, and maintain the status quo. Data from this period shows rising burnout, particularly among women and minorities who were disproportionately expected to be agreeable, understanding, and emotionally available in environments that offered little protection in return.
The COVID-19 era between 2020 and 2025 exposed the final stage of this transformation, as “be kind” messaging spread while inequality intensified, essential workers were praised instead of compensated, and patience was demanded from communities facing systemic failure. During this time, billionaire wealth surged while wages stagnated and mental health crises increased, turning kindness into a form of social sedation meant to calm people rather than empower them.
Looking toward 2035, a cultural shift is already underway as younger generations reject politeness without justice and prioritize fairness, transparency, and accountability over surface-level harmony. Projections suggest that emotional labor will gain formal recognition, whistleblower protections will expand, performative corporate ethics will be exposed by technology, and mutual aid networks will continue to outperform traditional institutions in times of crisis.
As kindness splits into performative gestures on one side and strategic action on the other, communities that have long understood survival through collective care are leading the reclamation of kindness as a tool for protection rather than compliance. Research already shows that community-led programs reduce harm more effectively than punitive systems, proving that kindness regains its power when it is backed by boundaries and shared responsibility.
Kindness was never meant to be quiet, submissive, or endlessly forgiving, and its most powerful form has always been rooted in solidarity and accountability rather than politeness. As society moves forward, kindness is returning to its original role not as weakness or performance, but as strength with intention, where caring deeply includes the willingness to challenge harm and demand change.
